Thursday, April 30, 2009

"Bodies in Urban Spaces" Fuse Box Dance Festival.

Last weekend I performed in "Bodies in Urban Spaces." This piece by Austrian Choreographer Willi Dorner, was part of Austin's FuseBox Dance Festival. A week of intense training/Rehearsals on top of epic jet lag (straight from the plane to rehearsals)...left me utterly fulfilled and totally exhausted. 

This was the most beautiful, physically and mentally challenging piece of art that I have ever experienced. Some days I fought through, struggling with my weaknesses and arguing with my mind and insecurities. I am so beyond grateful to have worked with such amazing people and performers. 

The places we had to go in our minds, to overcome fear, physical pain and limitations pushed our edges and bought me to my knees emotionally. When you mix sleep deprivation with physical exhaustion interesting things happen. All my weaknesses were laid out in front of me...and this time I chose not to look away. There are changes to be made. A major overhaul actually. 

I have a commitment to go deeper.get stronger.stop holding back.stop rushing in. 

I'm in a quiet place now. Words are of little use. I am recreating. Questioning. Reevaluating. Righting my wrongs. Painting a new vision. Willing to Change Everything. 

Looking it straight in the eye.
Takes a new kind of Bravery. 

A new level of honesty.
One that makes it almost too much...just to breathe.
This Time...This time I am taking it head on.
Holding myself to a higher standard. A new World must be born.

To hold this new heart. This new love.

To become someone that can be loved
that deserves to be loved. Someone Strong.
That I can be proud of...

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